While it’s general knowledge that condoms are essential to protect against HIV Aids and other STD’s, they aren’t typically not thought of as herpes preventers. This is because herpes can be spread by skin to skin contact, in additional to genital to genital contact.

Despite that, if herpes molecules are on the genitals, a condom will protect you.  In fact, the study which observed 5384 men and women who did not have herpes to begin with, followed up after 12 to 19 months, and verified that those who used condoms 100% of the time they had sex contracted herpes 30% less often that the group who didn’t’ use condoms.

The study’s author Emily Martin of Seattle Children’s Research Institute points out that condoms can hold water or air, which both consist of teeny tiny molecules.  The molecules of a virus are much larger, so it stands to reason the herpes virus will not  penetrate through a condom.

The prevention factor with condom use is not as high for herpes as for other STDs. If an infected person is shedding herpes from a section of skin not covered by a condom, the condom won’t help.  But 30% more protection from herpes is worth using a condom.

Find out much more about herpes at the website for the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Is it worth the gamble to keep herpes a secret?

To tell or not to tell, that is the question.  The answer depends on certain factors.  A big one is, how long ago did you first get herpes?  If you have had it and it has been inactive for 10 years or more, then not telling your date might be a gamble worth taking.

Consider this:  Herpes can be present in one or both partners, without them knowing about it.  They may be carrying HSV, which causes herpes, and never had an outbreak…Therefore they could transmit herpes, without knowing it.  And this does not mean that they have been unfaithful, because there is no way of knowing when they got it or how.  It can be contracted by using utensils of an infected person,  from kissing, or from oral sex or genital to genital contact.

There are so many grey areas.  The fact is that  you are contagious from the start of an episode until the healing of the last ulcer.  In this case, you should not have sex or kiss someone, unless you are totally uncaring about what happens to them. You should abstain from contact, period.  You don’t have to say why, if you feel that telling the person would upset them greatly.

Every date does not include sex or kissing.  Why should you tell your date, if the two of you are meeting to play tennis, and that’s all?

It is complicated.  If you don’t have an active outbreak, you can still transmit the disease, but only 5% of days, so risk of transmission is  pretty low.  If you have known a person long enough to be in a committed relationship, then tell them you have it, regardless of how long ago it was contracted or how long ago you last had an outbreak.

This is one person’s opinion, but you may chose not to tell a new partner, if you have had no outbreaks for 10 plus years and if you first had it 10 or more years ago.  That is the gambling decision you must make.

Don’t listen to someone else’s opinion.  Get all the facts and then decide what is right for you.  If you feel uneasy or dishonest, then you’ve made the wrong decision.

Dealing with the Stress

With herpes, depression is often complicated by the unfortunate stigma that is attached to having the disease and the stress that having an STD places on a person and their relationships.

The first thing to do is confront the problem and ask yourself to acknowledge your depression. Also the pain (physical and emotional), and whatever psychology issues you are coping with regarding your diagnosis.

Once a person understands that they have a chronic and relapsing illness and has faced whatever social issues occur in people with herpes, the treatment of depression is similar to the treatment of depression in other people.

Medical Help

Often, one of several antidepressants are used, based on the what the patient needs - treating anxiety, insomnia, avoiding impotence (a side effect of many antidepressants), cost and treating pain.

The fact that chronic pain and depression involve the same nerves and neurotransmitters means that antidepressants can be used to improve both chronic pain and depression. In some patients, therapy is recommend.

Exercise is the farthest thing from the mind of most people with depression. But regular physical activity CAN help depression (and decrease pain) - it’s a natural antidepressant.

SUPPORTIVE COUNSELING

When first diagnosed with genital herpes, many people experience depression, guilt, shame, or anger at previous partners, and often want to withdraw from relationships altogether. Though these feelings usually abate or decrease in intensity with time, they can cause considerable interim psychological suffering and disruption of social activity. Counseling may be particularly helpful during this time, obtained through primary care providers or by referral to specialists or local support groups. A reliable source of additional information is the Herpes Resource Center (American Social Health Association).

STDs can be divided into two general categories, those that can be cured and those that currently cannot. Syphilis, chancroid, gonorrhea, chlamydial infection, and trichomoniasis [trik”o-mo-ní-ah-sis] are the most common curable STDs seen by FP/MCH providers. All are bacterial, except for trichomoniasis, which is a protozoan infection.

All incurable STDs are viral. The most dangerous viral STD is human immunodeficiency virus (HIV), which leads to AIDS. Other incurable viral STDs include human papilloma virus (HPV), hepatitis B and genital herpes. In this presentation, genital herpes will be referred to as herpes.

While viral STDs cannot currently be cured, treatment can relieve some of their symptoms and reduce the severity of some of their consequences.

Three viral STDs, HPV, herpes and HIV, are at epidemic proportions.

It is estimated that 30 million new infections of HPV and 20 million new cases of herpes occur every year.

The HIV/AIDS epidemic is of particular concern because AIDS is currently both incurable and eventually fatal. As of 1998, nearly 30 million adults and children were believed to be living with HIV/AIDS worldwide, according to the Joint United Nations Programme on HIV/AIDS (UNAIDS) and WHO. New infections occur at a rate of 16,000 every day, or about 6 million each year. In developing countries, about six of every 10 infected adults are men, but in much of the world the proportion of women with HIV infection is rising.

In 1998, more than two-thirds of adults and children with HIV lived in sub-Saharan Africa. The HIV/AIDS epidemic is also spreading rapidly in South and Southeast Asia and in Eastern Europe.

STDs can have severe medical consequences, including death.

Untreated gonorrhea and chlamydia can cause pelvic inflammatory disease, or PID, in women, which can lead to infertility or chronic pain. PID can also cause ectopic pregnancy with subsequent maternal death. Cervical cancer is closely associated with certain types of HPV infection. This cancer is common and has high mortality rates in many developing countries, where screening programs for its early detection are limited.

Some STDs, such as herpes and syphilis, may affect pregnancy outcome, causing spontaneous abortion, premature birth and stillbirth. Gonorrhea and chlamydia can also affect the babies born to infected women, causing eye infections and blindness. Syphilis, HIV and herpes can be transmitted to newborns, potentially causing chronic disease and death. In addition, herpes can lead to mental retardation in babies.  Additional information could be found at the Viamedic Sexual Health Resource Center.

Some STDs can have significant effects on your reproductive system, especially if they are left untreated. Sadly, because many STDs cause only minor symptoms, many infected men and women do not get the treatment they need. Resulting in a large number of people suffering the effects of STD-induced infertility.

The majority of men who are infected with an STD exhibit symptoms soon after infection. This means that, overall most men do seek treatment in time to prevent any damage to their fertility. Every year, 500 000 men develop epididymitis as a result of STD infection. Epididymitis causes inflammation in the one of the vessels which transports semen from the testicles. Epididymitis can result in the complete blockage of these vessels, causing male infertility.

Many women who contract STDs do not develop visible STD symptoms, and, as a result, are more likely not to seek immediate treatment. This can be a major cause of infertility. Several unaddressed STDs can cause an infection of the reproductive organs. Known as Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID), this infection can cause scarring of the fallopian tubes making pregnancy difficult or impossible.

Chlamydia

Chlamydia is caused by bacteria that live in your semen or vaginal fluid. Typically transmitted through vaginal or oral intercourse, chlamydia can sometimes be passed through oral sex. If left untreated, chlamydia can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) or epididymitis. Unfortunately, symptoms of chlamydia are typically invisible. If chlamydia symptoms do manifest, they can include −
◊ unusual discharge from the penis or vagina
◊ painful urination
◊ swollen testicles
◊ in women, painful intercourse

Gonorrhea

Gonorrhea commonly affects men and women between the ages of 15 and 29, however, anyone can contract the disease. Commonly known as the clap, gonorrhea is caused by bacteria that live in bodily fluids. Gonorrhea is usually contracted through vaginal, oral, or anal sex. If left untreated, gonorrhea can also lead to fertility problems, including PID and epididymitis. Gonorrhea symptoms typically take between 2 and 10 days to manifest and include−
◊ nausea and vomiting
◊ in women, bleeding after sex
◊ yellow or bloody vaginal discharge
◊ green, white, or yellow discharge from the penis

Trichomoniasis

Trichomoniasis is a very common STD and is usually transmitted through unprotected vaginal sex. If left untreated, it can cause fallopian tube inflammation, complicating fertility. Symptoms are often invisible in men, however women commonly produce symptoms. Symptoms of trichomoniasis include−
◊ yellow-green vaginal discharge
◊ pain during sexual intercourse
◊ itchy genitals

Have Good Timing

So perhaps you’ve been dating for a few weeks or months, and you want to take things to the next level. You’re afraid that you having herpes will prevent that from happening, but you won’t know unless you tell him/her. So what do you do? First of all, choose the right time to tell your partner (the sooner the better, for the longer it takes, the more painful the experience will be). Be sure to tell your partner when he or she isn’t particularly stressed. The venue also matters. Don’t do it when you’re with a crowd of mutual friends and don’t try to randomly drop the news in a conversation. Instead, sit your partner down after dinner and talk to him or her about your relationship, eventually mentioning under what circumstances were you exposed to herpes.

Explain to them about the Disease

Be sure to tell them that it’s not life threatening. Explain to them that it isn’t an indication of sexual promiscuity. Bring literature if possible or offer to show him/her websites that provide information about the disease.

Listen to their opinion and let them voice their concerns

Validate their concerns about the disease. Ask your boyfriend/girlfriend to share their feelings with you. If his/her initial reaction is one of disbelief or disgust, try not to be offended and think about how you would react if someone told you similar news. If your significant other becomes upset with you about the news, just remember that it will pass and if you are really meant to be together, having a virtually harmless STI will not mean the end to your relationship.

Give your boyfriend or girlfriend time

Sometimes it takes time to digest news of such gravity. It doesn’t mean that he or she doesn’t care for you, but that they need time to think. Don’t hold it against them and give them plenty of time. Hopefully, he or she will come around.

Good luck!

abstain

There are medications that can reduce the duration and frequency of herpes outbreaks. They can also help reduce the risk of HSV type 2 transmission to a susceptible partner.   Although there is no guarantee that you will not spread the virus. Safe sex practices are always advised, like using a condom or restraining all together if the outbreak area can not possibly be covered by a condom.  Either way it is recommended that you do not have sex at all when you are having an outbreak, in other words abstain.

Antiviral Drugs

Valtrex

There are three major drugs commonly used to treat genital herpes symptoms: acyclovir (Zovirax), famciclovir (Famvir), and valacyclovir (Valtrex). These are all taken in pill form. Very severe cases can be treated with intravenous (IV) acyclovir. Theses are usually prescribed for a brief course of seven to 10 days to relieve the sores or prevent them from getting worse. Your doctor may keep you on the drugs longer if your sores don’t heal in that time.

Other Medications

Denavir

All of the types of herpes can be very uncomfortable, itching, burning and redness may occur as well as the blisters. Your doctor can prescribe you Denavir to help relive these symptoms. Denivar comes in a topical cream that can be applied directly to the sore, whether it’s a cold sore or genital herpes, it is only intended to be used externally.  Denavir is an antiviral topical cream that attacks the herpes virus in cold sores and prevents it from further replicating in the system. The end result is a lessening of the duration of cold sores and the suppressing of their reoccurrance.

Here Are Some Informative Videos About Herpes

Living With an Incurable STD

Top 10 Herpes Facts

You Can Still Have Love

Some out-of-date doctors tell their patients that they cannot spread Herpes to their partner unless they are having an active outbreak.  While it is true that you are the most contagious when you are having active symptoms, it has been shown that Herpes can be spread to a partner even when you have NO visible symptoms.

Most people with herpes “shed” the virus a small percent of the time, even when they are not having an active outbreak. This is called “asymptomatic” or “sub-clinical” shedding.  Recent studies have shown that 70% of new cases of herpes were the result of sexual contact with a partner who had no signs or symptoms of herpes at the time.

In many of these cases, the person was not even aware that they had the virus and could spread it.  Fortunately, the longer someone has had the virus, their milder and less frequent their outbreaks become, and the rate of asymptomatic shedding also decreases.  In fact, some people only very rarely shed the virus.  Everyone’s situation is different.

Just because someone has herpes does NOT mean that they are always contagious and will automatically spread it to another partner. There are many things people can do to reduce the risk of transmission and keep their partner safe. There are many couples in which one person has herpes, and the other person does not.