Let’s be honest. There’s no easy way to tell your partner you have genital herpes. Hence, there isn’t one formula for approaching the topic that will work for everyone. However, it’s something that you should discuss, even if it means the possible end to your relationship, because your partner has a right to know about your sexual history, especially when it comes to sexually transmitted infections (STIs). So read on below for a few tips to keep in mind when you do decide to finally break the news.
Have Good Timing
So perhaps you’ve been dating for a few weeks or months, and you want to take things to the next level. You’re afraid that you having herpes will prevent that from happening, but you won’t know unless you tell him/her. So what do you do? First of all, choose the right time to tell your partner (the sooner the better, for the longer it takes, the more painful the experience will be). Be sure to tell your partner when he or she isn’t particularly stressed. The venue also matters. Don’t do it when you’re with a crowd of mutual friends and don’t try to randomly drop the news in a conversation. Instead, sit your partner down after dinner and talk to him or her about your relationship, eventually mentioning under what circumstances were you exposed to herpes.
Explain to them about the Disease
Be sure to tell them that it’s not life threatening. Explain to them that it isn’t an indication of sexual promiscuity. Bring literature if possible or offer to show him/her websites that provide information about the disease.
Listen to their opinion and let them voice their concerns
Validate their concerns about the disease. Ask your boyfriend/girlfriend to share their feelings with you. If his/her initial reaction is one of disbelief or disgust, try not to be offended and think about how you would react if someone told you similar news. If your significant other becomes upset with you about the news, just remember that it will pass and if you are really meant to be together, having a virtually harmless STI will not mean the end to your relationship.
Give your boyfriend or girlfriend time
Sometimes it takes time to digest news of such gravity. It doesn’t mean that he or she doesn’t care for you, but that they need time to think. Don’t hold it against them and give them plenty of time. Hopefully, he or she will come around.
Good luck!
